A Few Good Developers

YKYNAHW ...
(You Know You Need A Holiday When ...)
You have fantasies of your line manager as Jack Nicholson in _A Few Good Men_, reaming out one of your cow-orkers

LINE MANAGER
Have you ever spent time in a dev team, son?

COW-ORKER
No sir.

L.M.
Ever served in a PQA area?

C-O
No sir.

L.M.
Ever put your code in another man's hands,
ask him to put his code in yours?

C-O
No sir.

L.M.
We follow process, son. We follow process
or bugs happen. It's that simple. Are we
clear?

C.O.
Yes sir.

...

L.M.
Son, we live in a world that has bugs.
And those bugs have to be triaged by people
with processes. Who's gonna do it? You? You,
$COW-ORKER? I have a greater
responsibility than you can possibly
fathom. You weep for our product and you
curse the developers. You have that luxury.
You have the luxury of not knowing what I
know: That our triage process, while unwieldy,
probably prevented bugs. And my existence,
while grotesque and incomprehensible to
you, prevents bugs.

You don't want the truth. Because deep
down, in places you don't talk about at
parties, you want those processes.
(boasting)
We use words like triage, Staging Environment,
Beta testing...we use these words as the
backbone to a life spent debugging
something. You use 'em as a punchline.
(beat)
I have neither the time nor the
inclination to explain myself to a man who
rises and sleeps under the blanket of the
very software I provide, then questions the
manner in which I provide it. I'd prefer
you just said thank you and went on your
way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a
compiler and stand a post. Either way, I
don't give a damn what you think you're
entitled to.

C.O.
Did you reassign the job ticket?

L.M
I did the job you sent me to do.

C.O.
Did you reassign the job ticket?

L.M.
You're goddamn right I did.

*sigh*

A boy can dream...

sol (Things not to post the day before your Performance review in a journal your boss reads! ;).
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